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- Radio Stars
- Boy Meets Girl
- Baffin Island
- (I've Got Dem Old) Sex In Chains Blues (Again Mama) Part
- Sitting in the Rain
- The Real Me
- Rock'n'Roll For the Time Being
- I'm Down
- No Russians in Russian
- Get On a Plane
- It's All Over
- Goodnight
Radio Stars
We've come to play but don't believe a word.
Reserve your judgement at least until you've heard.
If we enthrall you, then we'll all be satisfied,
and if we bore you, then you'll know the papers lied.
Radio Stars.
We hope you like us cos it really means a lot,
and If your neighbour hates us then relax, it matters not.
We're here already and there's nothing he can do.
Go take a walk, check out the bar, investigate the loo.
Radio Stars.
We're on the radio. To make the song long.
We're on the radio. To add attraction.
We're on the radio. Oh my, how times flies.
We're on the radio. Maybe they'll like it.
We're on the radio. To make it longer.
We're on the radio. We'll add a section.
We're on the radio. Just bung a verse in.
Radio Stars.
(I was told by the powers that were that 1 min 40 secs was too short for a single, so we added an extra middle piece which was recorded much later and inserted into the first version. That's why it's in a different tempo and why the sounds all change across the edit. The words are thus understandable. Alas, it was all to no avail and nobody was fooled).
Boy Meets Girl
They met quite late on Saturday.
She had a date. He suggested that she break It.
Too late, her date went that-a-way.
He was replaced, but she didn't know how to take it.
Boy meets girl.
His head's in a spin and she's giving It a whirl
but he can't get It Into her head.
Boy meets girl. She's just like the others
and he's giving it a whirl
but he can't get it in her head.
She did not know the neighbourhood
and she said 'NO!' to any thing he suggested.
She talked such rubbish and trivia,
he got so bored he was tempted to throw her in the rivia.
Boy meets girl…
And now it's getting late, he's got to take her home.
Cos Daddy said that she's too young to be out on her own.
Boy meets girl and so on.
Baffin Island
In case of nuclear war or massive unemployment,
of drastic re-inflation or tactical deployment;
in case of civil unrest, follow me to the Arctic Circle.
They'll take good care of you there.
No matter what's wrong,
we can all go along to Baffin Island.
Soon we'll all be gone
to the land of women and song.
That's where we all belong.
No matter what's wrong with the world
There's always Baffin Land.
Join me In the frozen North.
Turn left for the Polar regions.
The food's good and cheap at the price.
Try the Baffins out of season.
Northern air can cure any iII
guaranteed to relieve any ailing.
You'll feel on top of the world (thank you, baffins).
No matter what's wrong,
we can all go along to Baffin Island.
Soon we'll all be gone and so on.
(I've Got Dem Old) Sex In Chains Blues (Again Mama) Part 1
Well - I was cruising In my taxi round the US of A.
I was picked up by a lady and she had a game to play.
We had to catch a Mormon and encourage him to stay;
bind him up In chains so he wouldn't get away.
Hey hey.
Alright.
Hey hey.
Alright.
Hey hey.
Alright.
Alright.
So we made our way to England where we bought all these chains and stuff
(chains and stuff).
Then we grabbed our favourite Mormon and we started to treat him rough (treat him tough).
We tied him to the bedpost
and made sure he got enough.
I felt a bit frustrated (she's a nice bit of stuff).
Hey hey etc.
I've got the Sex In Chains blues.
Hello.
But then we got arrested and they put us both In chains (-ns).
But then we got let out again, it was the fifth of May.
No, it wasn't.
Yes, it was.
No, it wasn't.
I think it was.
No one knew our habits,
that's what helped us get away.
Now I'm cruising in my taxi
round the US of A.
Hey hey and so on. Goodbye.
Sitting In The Rain
I've lost my motivation.
I'm just sitting In the rain.
I need some stimulation
or I'll never move again.
My mind has ceased to function,
I'm supporting it's dead weight.
My stomach needs it's luncheon
but I fear it's just too late.
I get wet, I don't worry.
I get dry, I don't hurry.
I get hot - that's no sweat.
I get cold cos I'm sitting In the wet.
Sitting in the rain.
Sitting in the rain.
Sitting in the rain.
I try to move my limbs around but all to no avail.
My future lies in sitting down.
My face is turning pale.
Help me, if you'd be so kind
you'll find It worth your while.
Avert your face at what you find
I'll pay you with a smile.
I get wet, I don't worry.
I get dry, I don't hurry.
I get hot - that's no sweat.
I get cold cos I'm sitting In the wet.
Sitting in the rain and he sits for some time.
The Real Me
I am all things to everyone.
I may be idle, but I don't know.
The situation's really quite unique.
They'll all believe every word I speak.
But only you, dear, see through, dear
to the real me.
Look right through, dear. It's true, dear,
it's the real me.
I am the object of their dreams.
I hear their problems but I say no.
I can't assist them In their search for truth.
I'm every bit as much the callow youth.
This kind of thing keeps me awake at night.
This kind of thing causes me awful pain.
What can I say, why don't you see it right?
I'll sing it again.
Only you, dear and then he does in fact sing it again, exactly as he threatened only one bar earlier. He is nothing if not consistent.
Rock 'n' Roll For The Time Being
What is this music that I hear?
What is this buzzing in my ear?
Let's call it rock'n'roll.
Let's call it rock'n'roll.
Let's call it rock'n'roll.
Rock'n'roll for the time being.
I hear from Luton the my aunt is dead.
I guess it's better left unsaid.
Let's call it rock'n'roll
Alright, it is rock'n'roll.
Get On A Plane
I'm going to fly away to the sun.
I'm going to find a land with no-one.
I'm going to find a sandy beach.
I'm going to find a quiet retreat.
I'm going to flyaway to the sun.
I want to get on a plane.
I want to fly away.
Gonna get a plane to a land with sand and sea.
That's all need to keep me happy.
I'm going to find a place I can stay.
I'm going to stay till the end of my days.
I want to be so satisfied.
My belly's full but my hands are tied
I'm going to fly away to the sun.
I'm gonna get on a plane...
I'm going to leave you all here at home.
I'm going to see if all roads lead to Rome.
I'm getting out while the going's good.
I'm getting out as you know you should.
I'm going to fly away to the sun.
I wanna fly.
I wanna get on a plane and so on.
I'm Down
There's nothing left to talk about.
It's all been said and done.
I've torn up all your photographs,
you've gone back home to mum.
I'm broken down we're breaking up;
there's nothing I can do.
I'm down so low.
We've fought and rowed like cat and dog.
I suppose it's for the best.
I thought that you were second to none.
You've put It to the test.
You keep the dog, I'll keep the cat.
We'll split the rest In two.
I'm down...
Down, my direction is down.
No exceptions - it's down.
My direction is down.
S's and T's and V's come out the best.
(Yes, they do).
I'm down and he sinks beneath the waves of despond.
No Russians In Russia
There are no Russians in Russia,
there are no Yanks in LA.
There are no Chinese in China,
I guess they've all gone away.
There are no Arabs in Egypt,
there are no French in Paris.
There are no Turkeys in Turkey
the whole affair's Greek to me.
There are no Serbs in Croatia,
there are no Poles in the sea.
There are no Celts in the Caymans.
(Did you honestly expect there to be?).
There are no Spanish in Malta,
there are no Scots in Peru.
This state of affairs will not alter
no matter whatever we do.
There are no Russians in Russia.
There are no Russians in Russia.
(There are no Russians in Russia).
There are no Russians in the USSR.
Solzhenitsyn.
Nikita Kruschev.
Yuri Gagarin.
Leon Trotsky.
Eric Lenin.
Leonid Brehznev.
I can't get no Michael Aspel.
And old Rasputin.
Rudy Nuryev.
Victor Stalin.
And Roger Armstrong. Und so weiter.
It's All Over
I asked her not to leave that night.
Said we'd never see the light of day again.
She would not hear me.
I begged her not to go away,
to take the bike another day - she would not stay.
I pleaded with her - 'oh, baby stay'
She mounted up and rode away.
I feel it was a fitting end - she rode into a wall.
And it's over.
It's all over.
It's over.
She's all over.
I could not find the words to say.
I watched her as she rode away into the night.
My heart was breaking.
I saw her fast-retreating form growing smaller
as the dawn was coming soon.
I pleaded with her - 'oh, baby stay'
She mounted up and rode away.
And I allowed myself a smile - she rode into a wall.
And it's over...
Fan my thighs with a wet kipper.
Her soul has gone to heaven.
I know she's looking at me
and thinking 'it's over'.
She's thinking it's over.
Don't do it, don't do it. Don't do it!.
It's all over. Etcetera.
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