Here are two exciting turnip recipes for you. They are not dangerous to animals, only to people.

Take one or less turnips and insert forcefully into dinosaur costume whilst ensuring that the lips are in full pout. Ruffle hair, tread hopelessly on pedals while feeding back, and fall inert to floor. Continue to solo until rescued by road crew. Angrily interrogate band as to why they started without essential ingredients.

Alternatively, take large plate of beans while wearing light or light-ish suit. Place on edge of table and await the inevitable. When inevitable happens, declare that it is someone else's fault. Go off to audition famous band as to suitability of them playing with you.