Martin Gordon - Godbook

God's On His Lunchbreak (Please Call Back) Companion, Being the Illustrated & Annotated Lyrics from the Recording of The Same Name

52 pages * 9000 words * 14 full colour illustrations * A5 * Radiant Future / ISBN 3000174222

Martin Gordon and Chris Townson proudly present another joint work, only quieter. All God's lyrics are here, along with Gordon's overview of each song and Townson's depictions of the protagonists. You can research the origins of every song, mull over notes on the musical construction, luxuriate in anecdotes about the Cover recording sessions and muse over the themes. Full-colour illustrations for each song depict the rather odd characters that populate them, and notes for art students are included for each illustration (Chris also drew the covers to Hogwash and God). If you are very nice, the (surviving) author will also scribble suitable blandishments upon your copy. If you specially request it in an even nicer manner, he will not.

All musings, ramblings, anecdotes and similar stuff are written especially for the 52-page book and are not merely a cheap reprinting of material from inside the CD booklet, something discovered on the back of a cornflakes packet or merely translated from a shopping list written in Babylonic cuneiform. The material will not appear on any website (except for the bit below), on posters of wanted nocturnal mammals, in light pornographic novels or, indeed, in the manifesto of any political party.

An example of the sort of thing to expect is below. The tune in question is 'Bad Light Stops Play', the sad tale of how John Chicken finds that he is rapidly approaching middle age and decides to head back to the pavilion while the light is still good. The illustration sees Mr Chicken leaving a gravestone-strewn cricket pitch behind him as the sun sets slowly in the West. Can we dimly make out the names of Jet, Radio Stars and John's Chickens on the crumbling gravestones? Who knows... Mr Chicken confronts the Grim Reaper with a curious hand gesture. Mr Reaper encourages him not to be a silly lad and to come quietly. Now read on...

Each song is complete with illustrations (see a selection below), lyrics, anecdotes and palaver:


All Day Thinking	Miracle Baby	Paradise	Pinafore	How Am I Doing?	Gimme Food!	Fags

Extract ... 'Bad Light Stops Play'

Oh, the British love a sporting metaphor, and behave as though life can be reduced to the existential equivalent of a game of cricket. And this is indeed what the song does, with its reference to reaching the end of a long innings, packing up of bags and girding the sporting loins. The expression 'Bad light stops play' has long been in the John's Adult's vocabulary, referring to the ever-rising combined total of years lived by the various members (with one rather obvious exception). In real life, cricketers play in all kinds of oddly-named positions on the cricket field, and I have always been strangely attracted to those of 'silly mid off' and 'long stop'. The latter won in this case, as it scanned better.

Best BBC cricketing commentary award winner is the following exchange between two seasoned professionals: 'Well, the bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey". The response was suppressed hysteria, followed by long silence as the mike was closed for some minutes. (It helps to know that, like most words in the English language, 'willy' is a slang term for the male member). (When I say 'member’, of course, I don't mean in the sense of someone who appears on the enrolment list, it's actually more in the sense of…. OK, carry on).

This Beatles-esque ballad takes a darker turn as the end draws nigh, appropriately enough. It has a pedal bass in the chorus (chords changing over a motionless bass note) and rather Moptop-inspired bridges. And a King Crimson-esque middle eight that goes round in sevens, aided by Enrico's cleverer-than-thou 12th-note guitar parts. Oh, and a music-concrete outro, where the guitars impersonate Chris Townson's drums falling down a flight of concrete stairs. These are a few of my favourite things.

The illustration of this sad tale features the hapless John Chicken. Finding that he is rapidly approaching middle age, he reluctantly decides to head back to the pavilion while the light is still good. We see him leaving the gravestone-strewn cricket pitch behind as the sun sets slowly in West Hampstead. The Grim Reaper encourages him to come quietly with the offer of a nice cup of hot, sweet tea.

(Actual size of the Mr Chicken / Grim Reaper stand-off is A5, which is 148 x 210 mm as any fule kno)

And the words to Bad Light Stops Play

It's a long walk back to the pavilion, it's the final end to an arduous day. It's a long, long, long, long way. Bad light stops play, pack up the bails, put the wickets away. No more play for today - bad light stopped play.The end of the day brings a pause to activity, and the walk from the crease takes an age to achieve; it's a long, long, long, long way. Bad light stops play, light rain keeps the punters away. No play resuming today, bad light stopped play. Short break for all who need it, there's no conclusion, we'll have to concede it. The umpire has spoken - we all have to heed it. Bad light stopped play.The umpire declares that the match is unwinnable, and long stop has gone to his mum's for his tea. It's a long, long, long, long way. Bad light stopped play, protagonists already under way, benefit goes to those who got paid - bad light stopped play. Bad light stopped play, final ball bowled another day. Deciding game to be delayed - bad light stopped play. Bad light stopped play, no further action, no reason to stay - final verdict? Well, who can say... bad light stopped play.

GOD IS NOW AVAILABLE - ORDER HIM HERE

God's Companion costs €15 euros + p/p, unless you are a member of Opus Dei, in which case it costs five times that amount plus six Hail Maries. Orders are despatched within 24 hours and can be scribbled on by God's representative on Earth if requested.

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