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Radio Stars / Something For The Weekend
- Box 29
- The Beast of Barnsley
- Is It Really Necessary?
- Elvis is Dead Boring
- Johnny Mekon
- No Russians in Russia
- Nervous Wreck
- Dirty Pictures
- Macaroni'n'Mice
- Eric
- Good Personality
- From A Rabbit
- Shaking All Over
- Throwaway
- My Mother Said
- Two Minutes Mr Smith
I fell in love with your cultured hand
Your flowing pen made me yours to command
All I needed was your photograph
All I needed was to see your lovely face
Miss Box 29
Just to hold your hand in mine
Your reply to my pleading ad
"heal my heart which is bleeding bad"
All I needed was your photograph
All I needed was to see your lovely face
I'll be at your feet
Be it indiscreet
All I have to say is let me see your face
Miss Box 29
Just to hold your hand in mine
Miss Box 29
Be mine Miss Box 29
He did naughty things to innocent women. He crept up from behind and they didn't hear him coming - in the middle of the night. (In the middle of the night). His life was a mess, his wife he deceived her - Mum considered chopping Beasty's head off with a cleaver but she didn't think it right. No, she knew it wasn't right. He's the beast, he's the beast - he's the beast of Barnsley. (What a naughty boy!) Let's tell the world about the evil surrounding - condemn him out of hand, he's not fit to go on living, he's a creature of the night (He's a creature all right). It's in your own good that we bring to your attention the ways of this man and campaign for his detention (and our sales are all right. Yes, our sales are all right). He's the beast, he's the beast - he's the beast of Barnsley. What a Beast - oh what a Beasty.
Is It Really Necessary?
You can try it underneath or leave it round
the back cover it with silver paper or
lose It In a sack. You can plant it by the exit and hope a passer
takes it or leave it in the cupboard where no one will
suspect it. It all seems quite impressive really, but is it really necessary?
We can do ourselves a favour and poke it
though the fence. It will just annoy
the neighbours the hell to (sic) the expense. You can
hide it on the living room wall, it'll merge in with the
pattern. If someone asks what are those rings, you can say that one is Saturn. It all seems quite
impressive really and so on.
He's dead, he's dead, he's dead as a duck. He's OD'd on cheese and similar muck. He's gone, he's gone and my eyes ain't red. Yes - he's deceased, Elvis is dead. What can I say, he was a terrible sight - it doesn't matter to me, he gave me no delight. (Let's rot). Arthur is dead, boring. (Let's rot). Elvis is dead boring. (Let's rot). Elvis is dead boring. Arthur is a stiff. Go man go! (He's gone man gone) oh Arf, not 'arf, you don't do me wrong I never bought your records, I never lined your purse - you gave your kingdom for a hearse. (Let's rot). Arthur is dead boring…. Elvis is way down.
There was a day when life was easier, there was a time when people wanted to know. But now that's gone for ever, my life is recorded in stereo. Day by day I was so sensational you could see me every day in the national press but now that's gone for ever, you never hear me on the radio. Tell me that you I want you, want you Carry your satchel? I got you, got you. I'm Johnny Mekon. I'm Johnny Mekon. I'm Johnny Mekon. Come on, you know me! There came a day when success began to stop, I changed my style even so my records still missed, time for reappraisal, I had to think or else I had to go. I lost my fortune at the rate I lost my friends - all together I had trouble in making ends meet. And I was all forgotten, the family shows didn't want me no more. Tell me that you And now the moral and the way I'm seeing it, a mumble mumble is a very much easier task for me and I'm glad it's over cos in the end you make what you know. There was a day when life was easier, there was a time when people wanted to know, but now it's gone forever, my life's recorded in stereo. Tell me that you...
No Russians in Russia
There are no Russians in Russia, there are no Yanks in LA. There are no Chinese in China, I guess they've all gone away. There are no Arabs in Egypt, there are no French in Paris. There are no Turkeys in Turkey - the whole affair's Greek to me. There are no Serbs in Croatia, there are no Poles in the sea. There are no Celts in the Caymans. (Did you honestly expect there to be?). There are no Spanish in Malta, there are no Scots in Peru. This state of affairs will not alter no matter whatever we do. There are no Russians in Russia. There are no Russians in Russia. (There are no Russians in Russia). There are no Russians in the USSR. Solzhenitsyn. Nikita Kruschev. Yuri Gagarin. Leon Trotsky. Eric Lenin. Leonid Brehznev. I can't get no Michael Aspel. And old Rasputin. Rudy Nuryev. Victor Stalin. And Roger Armstrong. Und so weiter.
(You) destroyed my confidence, you broke my nerve. I've gone to pieces, now this I don't deserve. Wish you could see what you're doing to me - you made me a nervous wreck. My hands are twitching and I can't settle down. My scalp is itching and my eyes roll around; I chew my nails right down to the quick - you made me a nervous wreck. Now I've endured for years and years your tricks and your games: my confidence is long gone. You said you'd changed but it's always the same - is this love? I don't think so... (Electroencephalograph - plug it in my brain). I've been around through thick and thin, now what can I say? my mental health is long gone. You said you'd change but it's always the same - is this love? I don't think so... I know in future this won't happen again. I'll close my eyes and I'll just count to ten. And when I'm tempted then I know I'll resist cos you made me a nervous wreck and so on.
I wanna take some dirty pictures of you. I wanna take some dirty pictures of you. As I'm peering through the shutter, I can feel my heart a-flutter. The view is getting seamy as the lens is getting steamy - watch out for my reflex as I'm giving you the bird. Dirty picture turn me on, they give me strictures but I have to keep on taking pictures, dirty pictures - I get my kicks up in the attic with a Kodak Instamatic. I wanna take some dirty pictures of you. The dirtier the better, only filthy will do. As I rig up my umbrellas, the props are getting hotter and the action's getting frantic as you're going through your antics. Can you what? Don't be absurd. Dirty pictures... and he retreats once more to the attic.
I wanna take some dirty pictures of you. I wanna take some dirty pictures of you. As I'm peering through the shutter, I can feel my heart a-flutter. The view is getting seamy as the lens is getting steamy - watch out for my reflex as I'm giving you the bird. Dirty picture turn me on, they give me strictures but I have to keep on taking pictures, dirty pictures - I get my kicks up in the attic with a Kodak Instamatic. I wanna take some dirty pictures of you. The dirtier the better, only filthy will do. As I rig up my umbrellas, the props are getting hotter and the action's getting frantic as you're going through your antics. Can you what? Don't be absurd. Dirty pictures... and he retreats once more to the attic.
Macaroni'n'Mice
Hepatis, duty free lighters - brought em all back from a foreign land. Snails in wine and such are fine if you come from the country of Yves Montand. Be that as it may, I have to say - macaroni and mice, boiled eggs and lice, it'll make you think twice as much as bangers and mash, eat beans for a dash - it'll make you think twice, it's lovely! Eating bowels that are stuffed with spleen will make you turn green, or even blue. You're taking a chance if you eat chow mein because the average doggie is hard to chew. Macaroni and mice…
Eric don't go around no more. Eric closing his own front door. Eric caught by the silver screen and he don't know why. Eric listen to latest news. Eric find it so hard to choose. Eric caught by the silver screen and he don't know why. Eric - he was one of the best. Eric - he was unlike the rest. Eric he is ready to drop but he just can't stop. Eric live in a world his own. Eric never pick up his phone. Eric caught by the silver screen and he don't know why. Eric never had any friend. Eric never his ways he mends. Eric caught by the silver screen and he don't know why. Eric... Eric never communicate. Eric hardly can love or hate. Eric caught by the silver screen and he don't know why. Eric working all day and night. Eric never see nothing right. Eric caught by the silver screen and he don't know why. Eric...
I know a Iittle girl who's not very pretty
but it doesn't bother me because
l know she's got good personality.
She looks like a parrot with a nose like a carrot;
yes, a beak like a leek and a spine that's weak,
but good personality.
Her looks, they are a tragedy
redeemed by personality.
No, she doesn't have much In the way of looks
but I never her face 'cos it's hidden in books.
That's good personality.
She looks kinda scruffy, you should see her clothes
and she ain't Bardot but she doesn't know it shows her good personality.
Well, I don't care about the way she looks shoddy
cos I'm after her mind and not her body, man -
that's good personality.
I don't care when things get tough,
She telIs me jokes and similar stuff.
Ha Ha. People say she looks so rough
but I don't care cos she's got enough of that good personality.
That's good personality.
I don't care about the clothes she wears
about the wear and tear or the state of her hair
cos when I'm with her I'm walking on air
cos I know her IQ is way up there.
She's got good personality.
Shaking All Over (comp. Johnny Kidd)
When you move in right up close to me
That's when I get the shakes all over me
Quivers down my backbone
I got the shakes in the knee bones
Shivers down my thigh bones
Like I'm
Shakin' all over
That's what happens when you say goodnight to me
Bring this feeling all inside of me
Quivers down my backbone
I got the shakes in the knee bones
Shivers in the thigh bones
Like I'm
Shakin' all over
My mother said I never should play with the gypsies in the wood. If I do she will shout, she will stop me going out. My mother said I never should play with the gypsies in the wood... She'd lock me up and throw away the key, that's what my mother said to me. If I do she will say 'pack your bags and be on your way'. My mother said. Sometimes I wonder what's really going on; the situation's getting worse.They'd carry me off to a distant land - force me to join their outlaw band. I think I would like those savage men: I could stay up later than half past ten. Sometimes I wonder.. My mother said and so on until she fades out.
Mr Smith now there's a man who takes his pleasures in the pouring rain
He's a simply splendid chap he'll live to be a hundred and a day
He's still got his teeth
His mind is sound
His wits are there all right
He's still eating meat
He gets around
And yes his hair's all right
Two minutes Mr Smith we'll come to you in a little bit
Two minutes Mr Smith
Mr Smith yeah he's the one who understands it all more everyday
Keep in touch with him you'll find
There's nothing that the man cannot explain
He's still keeping fit
He's got his health
And we're aware of that
He's like a bleeding rubber ball
Bouncing on his prayer mat
Sleep all night work all day sick all night you can sleep all day
Sick all night work all day work all night you can sleep all day
Pray all day you gotta sleep all night
Sleep all day you gotta pray all night
Play all day you gotta pay all night
Pay all day you gotta play all night
Mr Smith will answer all your problems
And absolve you from your sin
Mr Smith will dust you off
The naked eye will not know where you've been
I hope he don't follow me cos my immortal soul's alright
I hope he can't see into the past
I mean the other night
Two minutes Mr Smith we'll come to you in a little bit
Two minutes Mr Smith
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